Random AF WOF WOTB HG IC HP PJO Crossover
by FlamingWingsAndFrozenHearts
Summary: Just imagine what it would be like if the worlds of Eoin Colfer, Kathryn Lasky, Tui T. Sutherland, J. K. Rowling, Rick Riordan, Christopher Paolini, and Suzanne Collins collided and continued their stories...
1. Chapter 1

**Just imagine what it would be like if the worlds of Eoin Colfer, Kathryn Lasky, Tui T. Sutherland, J. K. Rowling, Rick Riordan, Christopher Paolini, and Suzanne Collins collided and continued their stories...**

* * *

Mulch: *yawn* I'm hungry. And bored.

Julius: Shut it, convict.

Mulch: Hey, my name was cleared, remember?

Foaly: Both of you, shut it! Hey, who's that?

Holly: Hey guys.

Foaly: Who's that with you?

Tsunami: YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM?!

Foaly: Holy crap, a talking dragon!

Glory: Duh, what did you think we were, mangoes?

Clay: Mmm, mangoes...

Sunny: Where are we?

Artemis: *walks through the door* What the heck are you all doing in my back yard?

Holly: *rushes into Artemis's arms* Arty, where the heck have you been! I had No°1 reverse my age so we could be together and then you just DISAPPEAR ON ME?

Artemis: I missed you too, Holly. Guess what? I met a talking wolf who was raised by a grizzly bear. By the way, have you asked No°1 about that shrinking spell? I can't kiss you without squatting and it's kind of frustrating because I'm not the best at squatting.

Holly: Not yet. Now, about the talking wolf?

Faolan: Yes, right here. I'm right here. Name's Faolan, and this is Edme.

Edme: Hi.

Foaly: *clears throat* Excuse me, but we still haven't been introduced to the talking dragons.

Glory: Right. I'm Glory, and this is Clay, Sunny, Tsunami, and Starflight.

Mulch: Oh, look. More Mud Men.

Percy: Holy crap, Annabeth, that kid looks just like Nico!

Annabeth: Only Nico has darker eyes that are the same color and he is younger.

Percy: Who are you, anyway?

Artemis: I am Artemis Fowl.

Holly: Criminal mastermind.

Artemis: You know that's not true. You changed me. *kisses Holly*

Mulch: Ewww! Who would kiss someone outside of their own species, anyway?

Holly and Artemis: Me.

Sunny: Awww, so cute.

Tsunami: All this romantic crap is giving me a headache.

Glory: Like there's not something going on with you and Riptide.

Tsunami: Glory and Deathbringer, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N...

Glory: *smacks Tsunami*

Tsunami: Oww.

Julius: OK, people, we need to get on with the introduction. We have better things to do than argue and kiss. Convict, you start.

Mulch: I am the world famous Mulch Diggums, former master dwarf thief. And I am NOT A CONVICT.

Julius: I am Commander Julius Root of the Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance.

Holly: I am Captain Holly Short of the LEP, long time more-than-friend of Artemis Fowl.

Artemis: Beautifulest living thing on and under Earth.

Holly: Is that even a word?

Artemis: No, but it certainly describes you.

Holly: Awww, thanks, Arty. *kisses Artemis*

Artemis: I am-

Julius: We all know who you are, Fowl. Get on with it.

Tsunami: We are-

Glory: We are the dragonets of destiny: Clay, Starflight, Sunny, Tsunami, and me, Glory.

Tsunami: *scowls at Glory*

Faolan: I am Faolan and this is Edme, of the Wolves of the Watch.

Edme: Hi. Again.

Harry: I AM THE BOY WHO LIVED! That is, Harry Potter.

Artemis: ...

Percy: Whoa, where did you come from?

Harry: I Apparated here. I dunno why, I was trying to get to Hogwarts to see Hagrid and then I started thinking of the Weasley's house, and I appeared here.

Annabeth: I am Annabeth Chase.

Percy: And I am Perceus Jackson.

Katniss: I am Katniss Everdeen, co-winner of the 74th Hunger Games.

Percy: Whoa, where did YOU come from?

Katniss: District 12. Get over it.

Mulch: Are we done yet? I'm bored. And hungry.

Holly: *sarcastically* Oh my gods, you're gonna die!

Mulch: *sarcastically* I know!

Julius: ON WITH IT!

* * *

 **I put this together in my spare time. Criticize me very harshly if you did not laugh while reading this.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thx to all reviewers who reviewed the last chapter. Thank you so much!**

 **Rhodi of the TechWings: Thank you. Deal with the screenplay style.**

 **MrsMidnight: Thank you. That's exactly the reaction I was going for. I couldn't stop laughing while I was writing it, either.**

 **BossMan1a22: Thank you for pointing that out. I will have short bios of all characters available in my profile.**

 **With so many characters, it's kinda hard to give everyone a speaking line, so I'm open to suggestions!**

* * *

Holly: *cell phone rings* Everyone quiet! Someone's calling me. Yes, hello? Oh hey! Uh hu...mm hm...he's not gonna like that...OK...I'll try. Thanks, No°1.

Artemis: Who was that?

Holly: *grabs Artemis's hand* Come. I need to talk to you.

Artemis: Crap, what'd I do?

Holly: *goes through the door and shuts it behind them*

*whispering inside house*

Artemis: WHAT?! *crashing and shattering*

Holly: It's OK Arty. We'll hunt them down and make them give it back. I'll _mesmerize_ them if I have to. I have good news, too.

*more whispering*

Artemis: *sighs* Finally, some really, really, really good news.

Holly: No°1 is the only one that knows, so don't tell anyone before it's time.

*Holly and Artemis come back out*

Foaly: What was that all about?

Holly: Nunya. Nun-ya.

Mulch: * whispers to Foaly* I think she's pregnant.

Holly: *stuns Mulch with her Neutrino* Anyone else?

Glory: Ooooh, attitude. I like it. I think we'll get along just fine.

*Jayjay climbs up to sit on Holly's shoulder*

Glory: We'll definitely get along fine. He looks just like Silver! What's his name?

Holly: Jayjay. His name is Jayjay. You have a lemur?

Glory: Uhhh...

Tsunami: *whispers to Holly* She doesn't know what a lemur is.

Glory: *embarrassed, scales along wings turn pink and red* Neither do you!

Holly: Jayjay is a lemur.

Glory: Oh. Silver is a sloth.

Artemis: Glory, sometimes it's OK not to know everything.

Holly: Arty, take a moment to think about what you just said.

Artemis: *hastily* I mean, it doesn't apply to me...

Holly: Arty, sometimes it's OK not to know everything.

Artemis: *drumming his fingers* Please, Holly, please?

Foaly: Oh, gods, his AC is back. Don't even say "goodly beast".

Percy: What?

Mulch: *groaning and getting up* Long story.

Holly: No. Soon. Not yet.

Artemis: WHEN THEN?

Holly: A few weeks.

Artemis: *closes his eyes and cups his face in his hands* You know I can't keep secrets. I can't wait that long.

Holly: *puts her hands on his shoulders* Yes, you can, Arty.

Mulch: * whispers to Foaly* HOLY CRAP, SHE'S PREGNANT!

Holly: Why are you awake? Shut up. *stuns Mulch again*

Julius: Go easy on 'im, Holly.

Holly: *grumpily* Yessir, Commander.

Foaly: *hesitantly* So, are you...?

Artemis and Holly: NO!

Clay: Hold on. I still don't understand this whole thing. I don't know about you guys, but I can actually understand the scavengers. Well, these three and the weird cow hybrid.

Foaly: I am a _centaur_ , not a cow hybrid.

Holly: Gift of tongues. I gave it to Artemis. And Foaly. Apparently we can speak dragon and wolf, too. *turns to Harry, Percy, Annabeth, and Katniss* I can give it to you four, if you want.

Mulch: *groaning again* Ooooh, Artemis, FOUR.

Percy: I am seriously not getting anything you guys say.

Mulch: Long story.

Foaly: Lots of inside jokes.

Artemis: Atlantis Complex is not funny, centaur.

Katniss: Sounds good, Holly. Does it hurt?

Artemis: Not at all.

Annabeth: I'm in.

Harry: OK.

Percy: Sure, why not?

Holly: Here goes. *touches each of them on the arm, where blue sparks run up to their heads*

Percy: Oww! You said it doesn't hurt!

Annabeth: You're such a wimp, Seaweed Brain.

Tsunami: OK, I'm confused.

Glory: That happens often.

Tsunami: *scowls at Glory again* OK. So, Holly, how old are you?

Artemis: It's not polite to ask a lady how old she is, Tsunami.

Holly: I'm about 26 in human years.

Tsunami: * whispers to Starflight* Human?

Starflight: Scavenger.

Tsunami: *to Holly* So, you're a fully grown human and you're Artemis's mate. So that means that Artemis is fully grown.

Holly: First of all, we are _not_...mates. Yet. And yes, he is fully grown.

Mulch: *whispers to Foaly* Didja notice how she said 'yet'?

Holly: *shoots her famous glare at Mulch*

Tsunami: So why is he twice as tall as you? I mean, I could pick you up and throw you across the yard, but he would be a little trickier to throw.

Artemis: *steps in front of Holly* Don't you dare lay a talon on her.

Tsunami: What're you gonna do about it, scavenger?

*Artemis conjures up a fireball in his hand*

Tsunami: OK, you win.

Sunny: *breathes a small, brief plume of fire* So, all it takes is fire to get past The Great Tsunami?

*Tsunami shoots a look at Sunny*

Clay: Hey, Tsunami. * breathes fire a little too long and catches Foalan's tail on fire*

Faolan: Ow! Ow! Oww!

Holly: Arty, water!

Artemis: Got it. *takes hose to Holly*

Holly: *sprays Foalan's tail with the hose* Heal.

*blue sparks run up Foalan's tail*

Edme: Whoa.

Faolan: Cool.

Tsunami: YOU NEVER ANSWERED MY QUESTION!

Holly: I am a fairy. We are naturally shorter than humans, or scavengers.

Faolan: And obviously way more magical.

Katniss: I didn't believe magic was even real 'till now.

Harry: Muggle.

Mulch: Artemis, do you have any vole curry?

Artemis: *grabs Holly's Neutrino* Holly, how do you work this thing?

Holly: Like this. Watch closely. *shoots Mulch again*

Julius: Holly…

Holly: But it's fun.

Starflight: One question. How are people not seeing us?

Holly: Honestly, I don't even know.

Artemis: Let's just hope that my mom and dad's vacation isn't over yet.

Holly: Yes, let's hope.

Starflight: Another question. Where the heck in Pyrrhia are we?

Artemis: Pyrrhia? This is Ireland.

Dragonets together: Whaaaaaatttt?

Sunny: Did we, like, teleport here in our sleep or something?

Annabeth: Who exactly are you asking?

Sunny: Anyone with the answer.

Percy: I don't think you'll find it here.

Sunny: Find what?

Percy: The answer.

Sunny: Oh.

Harry: You know what I've wanted to do for a long time?

Holly: What?

Harry: *points at Foaly* Does he bite?

Foaly: Yes, _he_ does bite, if _he_ is referred to as a _he_ like _he_ is an animal! _He_ has a name, you know!

Harry: *whispers to Holly*

Holly: *shakes head furiously* No, no, no. He would definitely bite if you tried to do that.

Foaly: What? What'd he want to do?

Holly: Nunya.

Foaly: *sticks tongue out at Holly*

Artemis: Foaly, that is very immature for a centaur of your age.

Foaly: What? You calling me old, Mud Boy?

Artemis: I'm calling you older than a school-age foal.

Tsunami: Ooooh, you just got TOLD!

Foaly: *sticks tongue out at Artemis*

Katniss: *points at Mulch* Is he okay? He's taking longer to wake up than before.

Holly: *shrugs* He'll be fine. Maybe. And if not, that's one less criminal we need to worry about.

Percy: Shouldn't you be at least a little worried about him?

Foaly: Well, he did save your arses more than once.

Holly: And I just saved his.

Harry: How, may I ask, did you just save his? And that is NOT how we British say that! Exaggerate your accent a little.

Foaly: Like this? Artemis is an _arse._ A big, fat, hairy _arse._

Harry: Good.

Holly: *motions to Mulch* Wanna end up like him, wizard boy?

Harry: No, no, I really don't.

Julius: Well, this was fun, but I think we should end this chapter here, so talk and you'll get shot.

Mulch: *groans and rubs his head* Wow, that really _hurts–_

Julius: *shoots Mulch*

Annabeth: Poor guy. He never gets a break.

* * *

 **REVIEW! Pweeezzzzeeeee? (does puppy dog eyes) Today's candy is Reese's. (gives out Reese's cups to everyone who reviews)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Oh, did I mention that characters kindasortamayormaynot be extremely OOC? Well, now I have. And just to clear things up, this story has absolutely no plot whatsoever. Its sole purpose is to kill you with laughter.**

 **I'm tired of thinking up candy. You get a pound of sugar coated in chocolate and frozen if you review.**

 **Guys, there are…*counts on fingers*…18 characters in this story. I'm trying to give everyone a speaking line, but it's kinda hard with so many characters. Can I get some ideas for dialogue?**

 **BossMan1a22: Yup. The candy manufacturers are the ones to blame. And I have no interest in any sort of dealings with penguins.**

 **TrueTeal(guest): I just took care of that and was planning to ever since the end of that chapter.**

 **Ranger Estrella: Really? One word reviews are SO last season.**

 **fairytailasaurus: Thank you. So much.**

 **I love y'all! In a non-creepy, writer/reviewer way. You guys are the reason I write. Don't stop reviewing!**

 **First disclaimer of the entire book: This is a website specifically made for FANfiction. 'Nuff said.**

* * *

Julius: *shoots Annabeth*

Percy: WHY'D YOU DO THAT YOU LITTLE +$&%- # $-%#! *summons random floating bubble of water and drops it on Julius' head*

Julius: WHY'D _YOU_ DO _THAT_ YOU LITTLE +$&%- # $-%#! *pokes Percy's leg with buzz baton*

Percy: Oww! I did it because you shot my girlfriend!

Julius: I shot your girlfriend because she talked when she was specifically told not to.

Percy: Fair enough. Hey, what's that?

*thing that looks like an airplane dives toward the yard*

Harry: Oh my God! A UFO!

*thing that looks like an airplane crashes into forest*

*Artemis walks toward it*

Holly: Arty, where are you going?

Artemis: Come on. I want to know what just crashed in the forest behind my house.

*everyone that's conscious(which excludes Mulch and Annabeth) walks toward forest*

Eragon: Ah! People! Saphira, hide!

Saphira: _I'm pretty sure they've already seen me by now. Mwahaha hello children. I am a homicidal megalomaniacal dragon who can read your thoughts. Scared yet?_

*Percy responds by screaming like a little girl, putting his arms in the air, and running for his life. Harry follows suit*

Eragon and Saphira: *laugh so hard, they both fall over and cannot breathe*

Eragon: Saphira, that was AWESOME! Those two just ran like it was the end of the world!

Sunny: Wow. What tribe are you from?

Saphira: _What?_

Sunny: *louder* What tribe are you from?

Saphira: _I heard you the first time, but I do not understand the question. What tribes are you talking about?_

Sunny: Um, the dragon tribes? In Pyrrhia? Duh?

Saphira: ...

Starflight: *whispers to Sunny* She's not from Pyrrhia.

Sunny: Really? How do you know?

Starflight: Because if she was from Pyrrhia, she would know what you're talking about.

Sunny: Oh.

Eragon: *stands up* Hello, I am Eragon Bromsson Shadeslayer. And you are…?

*everyone says their name (minus Percy, Annabeth, Mulch and Harry)*

Faolan: How many more dragons are coming here?

Saphira: *shrugs*

Artemis: Why are you here? Why are all of you _here?_ In _my_ backyard?

Eragon: *shrugs*

Holly: I think it's awesome. We should have a party!

Foaly: Yeah! Party!

Julius: Quiet, Pony Boy.

Edme: I think a party is a great idea.

Foaly: WOOHOO! Partay!

Julius: Quiet, Pony Boy! *stuns Foaly*

Holly: Great. Are we just gonna leave him here?

*everyone else walks away*

Holly: Okay then. *follows everyone else*

~~~RC~~~

 **Sorry for the extremely short chapter, but I had to get this up. It's been sitting here in my docs for AGES. And now it's not. Dance, my little pony boy, DANCE!**

 ***Foaly starts dancing***

 **So, yeah. Review!**


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